Store Liquidation

I went shopping today!! Department store liquidation sales are a great place. I bought some really great items. I'm actually a real bargain hunter when I am shopping. I ended up replacing all I returned yesterday. I thought I could be good in terms of spending money until I hit this sale.

1 Laurie B sweater jacket
1 dress ($ale price $12)
1 Jones New York sweater (it's still cold damnit.)
1 pair of capris
2 panties
1 bra

See, I buy things!
Total items purchased: 7
Dollar amout spent: $200

I thought I could be good about not shoplifting until I hit this sale too!
I lifted:------------------------------------------------------
2 panties
1 nightie
2 Calvin Klien shirts
1 Anne Klein evening dress (1 size too small)
1 other evening dress (2 sizes too small)
1 Pure DKNY silk tank (I have 3 others like it)
1 Nanette Lepore shirt (I'm not sure I even like it)

Total items shoplifted: 9
Dollar value amount: $490

It shouldn't be so easy. I had to be let out by one of the people that work there because I stayed so late. I went to the dressing room to double check that I didn't have any tags on anything, then purchased some lingerie. As I was walking down the stairs, I grabbed another pair of undies while smiling at a girl who was closing her register. She probably figured I would pay for it downstairs. They are going to remodel the store. Good idea. They ought to put in security cameras everywhere because I stuffed those undies in my bag as I bounded nonchalantly down the stairs. I was so friendly to the guy who unlatched the door for me that he didn't suspect a thing.

Petty: So, do you get the door for me?
Clerk: Yes, I've seen you shopping here before.
Petty: Yes. I love this store. You look a little like my brother.
Clerk: Really? He must be a very good looking guy.
Petty: He is. But kind of ugly too. I mean, he's my brother, right?

We laughed, smiled and waved. On the inside I was a little shakey, but nothing went off as I walked through. I figured I could make a run for it if I had too, though that might be kind of dumb.

I really have to stop doing this. I could have been jailed if I had been caught.