A Real Steal

I wore some shiny gold and crystal Stuart Weitzmans at a wedding. Someone complimented me about my shoes. I didn't know what to say, so I found myself telling the truth.
Lady: Those are fabulous shoes.
Petty: Thanks. They were a real steal!
Lady: Wow! What's your secret? I have such a hard time finding a bargain at a department store.
Petty: Well, lets just say, I know how to shop...

I have three pairs of Stuart Weitzman shoes, all of them totally hot. Smokin hot. Stolen hot. One was an accident--really! I was going to buy a pair of black strappy low heeled sandals. They had a security tag on them. I watched the guy take the tag off. I thought I saw him scan them. I reviewed my receipt later and realized that he had forgetten. OOPS! His bad! Do you think I went back and told them? No way!

I slipped another pair into my shopping bag another time. They were matte gold. Very cute. Irresistable. Only $79.00 after all the discounts at a department store clearance center. But I didn't pay that, of course. I carried clothes around over my shopping bag and underneath the clothes slipped the shoes into my shopping bag.

My last ones are the piece du resistance. They were full price, $295. They were practically calling my name as they sat on the shelf at the department store. They were so beautiful. Shiny gold strappy heels with little crystals or rhinestones or whatever. I fell in LOVE! I thought about buying them...but why would I do that? How did I do it?

Well, I always know where the security cameras are. I kept the salesgirl VERY BUSY looking for pairs of shoes for me. I developed a pile around my feet. Then I got the Stuart Weitzman's off the shelf and tried them on. They were an actual PAIR, not two right shoes! They went into the pile. Then I adjusted the pile and dropped the shoes into my shopping bag with alot of adjusting to hide what I was doing. I used the mirror to make sure it looked like I was just shuffling around my stuff, to include the Betsy Johnsons I was thinking of returning. If the security camera caught anything they wouldn't be able to prove anything. Besides, at department stores, they are mostly worried about what the employees are doing. That always works in my favor. I was a bundle of NERVES as I walked out of the store with those. Each moment I dreaded was my last free breath before I was hauled off by security. By the time I got to my car, I figured I was safe. Nothing showed up on the news. That was now months ago.