Friday, June 26, 2009

Making Out OK (in the Car at Least)

I met a guy for coffee at the mall. I wasn't sure what his intentions were. He did mention that the place where I had parked was the "make out" section. He showed me exactly what he meant when he dropped me off.
Him: Do you mind if we park here and just talk?
Me: No.
Him: It's like we could look at the stars with the top open, except it's not dark.
Me: giggle.
Him: So what kinds of guys do you like? Do you have a type?
Me: I don't know. I don't really have a type.
Him: Do you like white guys?
Me: Yes.
Him: Do you like me?
Me: Yes. How about you? Do you have a type?
Him: I like them all. I don't think I could be happy with just one.
Me: Looking is OK, it's just being faithful that's important.
Him: You're sexy--the way you smile. You're amazing.
Me: Really?
Him: Yes.
Me: Tell me more about me.
Him: You've got beautiful eyes, beautiful hair. A cute smile. Nice teeth...

He shifted so his body was turned toward me. He reached for my face with his hand. And then he moved in for the kill. His kisses went up and down my neck making me moan softly. He was breathing harder and whispered "Come here." He pulled me closer and caressed then started massaging my butt. "Oh, you're so beautiful." He reach down my shirt so he could play with my boobs and suck my nipples. I kept saying, "Slow down." He pulled my right hand down to his pants so I could feel his impressive bulge. I put my hand on his chest after touching him briefly. He shifted around and then put my hand down there again. This time I was feeling his actual member. It was hard, but the skin was so soft. I squeezed it a few times. "mmmm" I wanted him but not here, not this way. I barely know him.

I was getting nervous. The last thing I need is to add something else to my present charges. (Lewd conduct, indecent exposure...It could hardly be considered prostitution since there was no cash involved and he bought coffee and a sandwich that cost a total of $13.15--for both of us.) I started pulling away. Part of me didn't want to, but it would be too easy to get another ticket for something where we were. The mall police station was so close. If I'm going to be with someone I want to be able to relax. Though I had already pulled away and then crossed my legs subconsciously, the mall security guards were very curious when they saw him kissing my neck again.

Him: So, I'm just curious, how many dates does it take for you--3, 4, 5?
Me: Ummm (I was thinking 5 months)
Him: Girls always say that they've been with 3 guys, but guys we always think about the attraction first.
Me: I want to take things a little bit slower. I want to know that it means something.
Him: If I were a girl, I'd be the same way.

I later texted him:
Me: I can still smell you on me.
Him: Good then I left my mark.
Me: I'm still thinking about it.
Him: I was dying for you to go down.
Me: I like surprises dates like that, but I might be more in the mood after a really nice date.

I haven't heard from him in few days. Oh well. Is it because I said something about serial killers and going back to some guys place being dangerous? Is it because I didn't really have a good answer for his question, "So why are you so interested in the law?" Or is it because I didn't answer when he asked how many dates it would take before I slept with someone? Truth be told, I wouldn't know how many dates it would take, but I have to feel like a guy cares about me. Other than the pecadillos I have shared, I'm a really nice girl hanging on for a dream of being with someone who cares for me. Could be that he was just after a little thrill in the makeout garage. In that case, he didn't really get what he wanted.

I keep wondering why I stopped myself from doing this and yet couldn't stop myself from stealing.

The Truth Is No One Cares

It's sad. No one cares until you make them care. No one cares--not even a public defender who is supposed to have a bleeding heart because they took a low paying attorney job. Not until you make them care.

That's what I had to do. I had to insist that they look at my medical records, talk to my counselor and listen to me. Why should they care? I told my Public Defender, "I don't think you even like me." He answered, "I don't know you." He doesn't. I had just met him.

The offer: 3 years probation.
The problem: How is that really going to help me or anyone else when I was taking medication that made me compulsive?

I couldn't stop myself. I only got caught twice. I wanted to stop and couldn't.

If you ever get stopped for anything, MAKE THEM CARE. I wish I had known that the first time around. I wouldn't have accepted the plea, but then I was not completely understanding everything that was going on. I wasn't aware that the medication was lifting my inhibitions in that way. But now I think about things I used to do easily. I imagined myself taking a pack of cookies with my coffee at the counter today, but I couldn't do it. I did that on numerous occaisions when I was medicated. I don't know what to think of myself now that I am on the other side.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Raw Deal

I found out that if you believe that your attourney did not adequately represent you that you can go back to appeal a decision.

Attourneys that you pay can be bad news. The truth is that some people got into law to make money, that means they want to spend the least amount of time and get the most amount of money. That also means they may not represent you very well and talk you into a plea that does not benefit you. They know that most people don't know the law. They think it's easier to go ahead and put a convition on your record and they have you pay them to expunge (have it removed) than it is for them to properly defend you.

Word to the formerly unwise, if you qualify, go with the Public Defender's Office. Even if you have to pay later because you make too much money, you may get a better defense.

Then again, it's forced me to learn something about the law on my own.

To wise up, take a look at you local court's website and see if they give you any helpful information. You can also check out for helpful and inclusive information. They are a large court and give a great deal of helpful information at an early high school reading level.

Good luck and stay out of trouble!!

A Good Case For Trail

I met with a law clerk in the Public Defender's Office today. He let me read the police report. I told him the points that I took issue with.

1. They have no right to seize my purse.
2. They have no right to go in my purse and then say I wasn't cooperating.
3. They may not have a right to peer through the slats to watch you change. (I'm never using a dressing room again.)
4. They threatened me with excessive force.
5. They did not allow me to use the bathroom. (I don't care how murderous you are, you should be allowed to use the bathroom because they have what is called a "duty of care" responsibility if they detain you.
6. They are not allowed to use any kind of entrapment--or tricks to get you to commit a crime. (When I said I had to go to the bathroom I was directed to the open door rather than being told I could use the one in the store.)

Remember, if they make mistakes in the way that they treat you, they can be held liable for that.

The clerk will be getting copies of my medical records, surgical records and will subpoena a copy of the department store Loss Prevention Handbook.

I will let you know what is in that because it is totally relevant to this blog.

I have to wait to file a police complaint because if I make the complaint before the case is resolved, it could go badly for me. On the other hand, he said that because of my circumstances that this would be a great case for a trial. Apparently I love drama.

As with everything, I will let you know what happens.

And stop stealing stuff!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Date with a Probation Officer

I thought it would be hot to go out with a probation officer who didn't know I was on probation. I suppose he might have found out eventually. But there was just something hot about it. And he seemed to really like my pictures--especially the sexy

Unfortunately, he backed out.

Gee I've been on unsupervised probation... What if I have to go on supervised probation and what if he turns out to be my PO? That will be interesting. I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Going off the meds

Every day I realize how many side effects I was experiencing. I really never wanted to be on antidepressants, but I had to. The problem with them is that they really can cause you to have a manic episode. I'm sure you've heard that it could be fun to be happy all the time. But a manic episode may not cause you to feel happy. It can also cause you to just be irritated all the time and end up yelling at people because you are so uncomfortable and on edge. I developed acne, I had muscle twitches, I had some basic muscle coordination issues--it was hard to write and even to read because I lost some fine motor coordination.

The antidepressant I was taking also is used to treat anxiety. That explains why I could shoplift and really not feel bad about it. As I cut the medication, I found I just couldn't do it anymore. I found myself being my usual square self who pays for everything.

Unfortunately, now I have mess to deal with. I don't have as much as Winona Ryder did, but still, it's a mess. One that I didn't even realize I was getting into until now when I am going off of it.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Crappy Birthday

My Brother called me and at the end of our conversation he said, in that off-hand way that all men say things to women they care about:

Brother: Stay out of trouble.
Petty: I think you should tell me that more often.
Brother: Yeah, riiiight.
Petty: No really. It might help.

No, really, Brother, maybe knowing that you care might have punctured through the prescription drug-induced haze.