I Went Shopping!

I went shopping today. For the first time in a long time all I did was shop. And when I mean shop, I mean I paid for everything that went in my bag. No looking over my shoulder. No wondering if I'm going to get caught. No sneaking around. No wondering if my bag is looking over stuffed. No pretending to try things on in the dressing room.

It was a relief.

This is a hard lesson for me... It's been so long since I did normal shopping. It makes me wonder why I ever took anything because in comparison, I feel so much better when I am actually purchasing items. I can think about the person I am shopping for. I can think about how much they will like the gift.

What a relief.

I can think about how much money is going into the mess I created for myself.
The value of the items I took. And that everything I am going to pay in lawyers fees and payments to the company I stole from could have just gone into paying for items that I really wanted and that fit me well.

Don't be stupid.
Don't shoplift!!

Now I have to worry about whether or not I'm going to be on probation, or have the case dismissed or end up in court they didn't catch me on days when I had $1000 worth of merchandise in my bag. That would then be Felony Grand Theft.

Maybe for everyone else, this is a no-brainer. I should have thought about this before. I used to be like that, but everything changed when I got sick 2 years ago. More on that later. How do I explain that I didn't feel anything? How do I explain that I felt like it didn't really matter? I don't know.

So I'm going to say it again:

Don't be stupid.
Don't shoplift!!