A head injury to the frontal lobe may have actually caused my behavior? Kleptomania is an actual disorder? I don't know how to explain how I could do all of this.
I have a closet full of things I can't wear, don't even like. And now that I am off meds, I'm a bit shocked at how low cut some of them are. I'm shocked and puzzled, why did I take stuff that doesn't fit me or that I don't even want? I've given tons of it away since the stores wouldn't benefit by having it all back. I also shopped compulsively and ran up my credit cards. Everything was out of control.
I'm not surprised if people are a little scared of me or din't like me after what I have been through. It's alot. I really liked this supernice guy and then realized he is seriously too good for me. It hurt. But I'm not really bad. If I had never been put on Lexapro or had a head injury I never would have done these things. Never would have believed that I was or should be good at it. I'm disgusted.
Now when I go to the store I actually feel the normal anxiety that stops people from taking things. Can a medication really remove your moral center or hijack your sense of right and wrong. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm so confused. I seriously think if I were still on the medication I would still be doing all of these things, unable to feel that sense of right and wrong.