Many Happy Returns!!

When it was Eeyore's birthday in one of the Winnie the Pooh books, someone wished him, "Many happy returns of the day."

Did Eeyore ever have a happy return like mine?

I bought a piece of jewelry at a department store that was closing. It was marked final sale on the receipt and on the sticker. I cut off the part of the sticker that said No Returns, Final Sale in red and returned it without the receipt. I was just hoping to get back what I spent on it because I regretted spending so much. They were apologetic when they said that it gives the best price from the past few months when it finds it in the system. I said that it was about what I had paid for it.

That price was nearly $400 more than what I paid for it!!!! Sweet!!

I about choked. I certainly wasn't going to tell. Thank you, thank you very much. If only I had bought a few more things!!

PS I also returned a purse that I bought on the store credit card that was marked final sale. I don't regret it one bit. It broke. I don't think I should have to keep it under those circumstances. I told them to send it back to the vendor.

Arrested for Shoplifting? 10 things to remember

1. If you are being detained, you have been arrested. Arrest really just means that you have been stopped. They are allowed to do this.
2. Don't say anything. You may be guilty as sin, but you have a Constitutional right. The 5th Amendment protects you from self-incrimination.
3. Don't believe anything they say. A department store will tell you that they will "let you go" if you cooperate. They are trying to get a confession out of you or collect evidence so that they can turn you over to the police.
4. Don't let the store take a picture. They don't have the right. They will tell you they "need" to. They don't. Turn your head, look down. It makes them angry, but so what?
5. Don't let them look through your stuff. They will say things like, "I'm going to look through your purse to get your ID, OK?" Tell them no. It makes them angry, but so what? They will tell you that they will turn you over to the police because you didn't cooperate. So what? They were going to do that anyway. When the police come, they CAN look through your stuff without your consent if there is probable cause that you committed a crime. I'm looking into the matter of whether or not the police had the right to get my ID from my purse or search through my purse when I was only being accused of taking 1 item.
6. Don't say anything. The police will try to get you to tell them what happened even after they read you your Miranda rights. Repeat this mantra, "I have the right to remain silent." They will ask again. Repeat, "I have the right to remain silent." They will tell you you are rude, have a bad attitude and demand to know why you aren't cooperating. They will ask you about the weather and try again to get a confession. Repeat this mantra, "I have the right to remain silent. I have the right to have an attorney."
7. Remember everything they do. You have other rights like protection from cruel and unusual punishment. Did they use uneccessary force? Did you advise them that you have a legitimate injury? Did they ignore what you said? Did they do anything cruel and unusual? ie did you tell them you had to go to the bathroom for 90 minutes without being allowed to go? They will tell you that they will let you use the bathroom if you cooperate. Don't tell them anything. Report things they do wrong to agencies like the ACLU or register a complaint of police misconduct to PoliceAbuse.com. If the shopkeeper does anything wrong, they may have to drop their charges. They may be found to be even more guilty than you an criminally or at lest civilly liable. You may be able to collect damages--money--for what they did wrong.
8. Yes, you're in trouble. Yes, you might be guilty as sin. So what? You still have rights.
9. Depending on your history and the charges a public defender may be just as good as a lawyer you pay for.
10. Lastly. Stop stealing you fucking idiot!

I Quit

I can no longer steal. I have lost the touch. I got caught a second time. Why am I doing this to myself? The thing is, it was an ugly dress that didn't even fit me right. I was going to leave it in the dressing room. I didn't. I should have.

I came down quite harshly on those who have been caught multiple times tuning around and teaching their kids how to steal. Now clearly, I should quit.

I met a guy who I think should quit. He had 5 felony counts of commercial burglary, etc and just got out of jail for running a shoplifting ring that supplied purses to wealthy women who want the latest and are willing to pay. He wants a decent job, but can't get one because he's a convicted felon.

I don't want to end up in the same boat.

A Bowl of Moral Fiber

How many bowls of Moral Fiber will it take to get me right?

Are 10 bowls of any other cereal and replacement for 1 bowl of Moral Fiber?

Where did I put my Moral Fiber?

I'm not perfect

I guess I wanted to prove that I still have the touch. I wanted to prove how easy it really is to nab a few things. I didn't mean to. It's just that I found myself in the dressing room without an attendant. No one counted on the way in, the dressing room was a mess and I figured that no one would know it was me. After I was done trying things on, I had a cashier order something for me in my size. From what was seen, I wouldn't be suspected. That's exactly how I did it so easily for so long. I can't believe that I just got arrested and I'm still tempted. I still took something. I haven't even been to court. What is wrong with me? What will make me stop? I don't know. I wandered around the store trying on makeup debating if I should just leave the stuff in the dressing room again.

I even took some stuff from the store where I was caught--not the exact same store. I have to stop. I don't want to think what could happen if I am caught again.

I keep hoping that writing this blog will make me confront my inner depravity and make me stop.

Shoplifting Commercial

Shoplifters of the World Unite

Shoplifters of the World Unite--The Smiths Video

Winona Version


Smiths Video

Going to Chuch

Yes, it's true. People like me go to church. Sometimes I've only gone out of habit without saying too much else about myself. I felt so guilty knowing I was shoplifting on a weekly basis since the accident--a little thing here, a little thing there. Maybe a designer dress or something. And no one knew. It's not like the old days were everybody really knew everybody. I'm not going to be put in the town square for all to see me in the stocks. I'm not going to be tarred and feathered, live in a prison where rats will nibble on my toes, publicly paddled (ouch), whipped (ouch) or have my hand cut off (seriously ouch!). Almost no one has to know. I even keep other blogs that don't acknowledge this side of me. This blog is my confessional.

I feel better knowing that I'm not lifting. Church was more meaningful today. For so long I didn't care that I was doing anything or not--at least until I got to church. I want to talk about it with a spiritual adviser, but not at MY church. That would be too embarrassing. They think I'm Miss Pure. I want to go to a catholic church that has screens in the confessional. It's because I am ashamed. I want my secret to be somewhere else for safekeeping. After what happened with the ex whatever I just don't need any more pain.

A Lump of Coal

When people gave me money for Christmas this year, it totaled to 1/15 of my lawyer's fees. I got a letter from a lawyer that I already work with on a civil case and was too embarrassed to go to him for this case. I am remorseful over getting caught, doing this in the first place, not going with a lawyer that i knew and liked, and finally because it clicked in to me that I let a dumbass department store that paid me shit wages get me down all this time. In the end, they can now do more damage to me than I ever did to them by shoplifting. What the fuck was I thinking? Oh, yes, that's right, I wasn't really thinking. I had a head injury 2 years ago.

I got a gift card from the Department Store I shoplifted from. THE IRONY!!

And lastly, we live in a culture that celebrates wrongdoing. I took photos of this cute stocking in --SAME-- DEPARTMENT STORE!!

SANTA, I CAN EXPLAIN!

Can I use this as part of my defense?

Why Do People Shoplift? (for those who don't understand.)

I think it might also be to fill a void. Many people shoplift after a great loss. This means that people would be better served with counseling than with tying up the criminal court system.

by Peter Berlin

In simple and concise terms... "TO GET SOMETHING FOR NOTHING."

While we all like to get things for free and the stores are constantly promoting and placing merchandise on "SALE" to generate excitement about getting a bargain, most people don't cross over the line and steal the item. But some people do. Why?

The answer is... to most non-professional shoplifters, "getting something for nothing" is like giving themselves a "gift" or "reward," which in turn gives them a "lift." Many people feel they need a "lift" just to get through the week or even the day. A study by MasterCard International found that shopping was second only to dining as the primary way people reward themselves. Take it one step further and you can see how "shoplifting" the merchandise increases the reward.

Getting Something for Nothing

It's important to understand that "getting something for nothing" always represents something more to the shoplifter than the value of the merchandise. For different people it can represent any of the following things:

For some, it's a "substitute for loss" because they perceived they were unfairly deprived in some way (i.e., a divorce, a serious illness, death of a loved one, loss of income from a job or investments, or an unexpected expense which can cause people to feel needy). Stealing a bottle of shampoo, for example, can temporarily help to relieve the anxiety about their financial situation and gives them a feeling that they are more in control.


For others, it's "justified payback" for all they give to others and how little they get back in return.


For some, it's a "relief mechanism" for anxiety, frustration, boredom or depression.
Several studies have found diagnosed depression to exist in approximately 1/3 of the shoplifters studied. Depression was the most frequently found physiological problem. This helps to explain why so many shoplifters steal from stores on their birthday and around holiday times.

Any way you look at it, shoplifters perceive shoplifting as a form of self nourishment or as a way to relieve fear or pain in their life. In truth, shoplifting is self-destructive not self-nourishing, but shoplifters often can’t see the paradox.

For almost all non-professional shoplifters, stealing from stores is basically a reflection of a person's ability (or inability) to cope with a multitude of situations in his or her life. It's a response to their personal life situations. While these unhappy life situations may not easily be changed (or may recur from time to time) shoplifters must learn how to cope with these situations in a way that's not harmful to themselves or others. This may not be easy to achieve, because approximately 27 percent of shoplifters caught for the first time have already developed a shoplifting habit or even an addiction. Many admit that it will be hard for them to stop shoplifting... even after getting caught.

A person's addiction to shoplifting can develop quickly when the excitement generated from "getting away with it" produces a chemical reaction (i.e. adrenaline, etc.) resulting in what shoplifters describe as an incredible "rush" or "high" feeling, which many shoplifters will tell you is the "true reward," rather than the merchandise itself. In addition to feeling good, shoplifters quickly observe this "high" temporarily eliminates their feelings of anger, frustration, depression or other unhappiness in their life. Realizing how easy it is to get that "high" feeling, they are pulled toward doing it again..."just one more time"...and their addiction begins to develop. Even though most non-professional shoplifters feel guilty, ashamed or remorseful about what they did, and are fearful of getting caught, the pull is too strong for many to resist.

Of course, some people don't see shoplifting as a functional or psychological problem. They say, "What do you mean that a person can't stop shoplifting? Of course they can, they're just greedy". The idea that shoplifting is an addiction, “except for a few kleptomaniacs", is ridiculous, they say. “People who shoplift should go to jail and not be coddled or told they have an addiction.” This is like telling them it's okay to steal because they really can't help it.

The irony is that most shoplifters who have developed a habit or addiction believe they should be punished according to the law when caught. What offenders often resent, however, is when they are simply thrown into jail with hardened career criminals and are not given the help or support they need to help prevent them from repeating the offense.

Juveniles Who Shoplift

Shoplifting among juveniles is remarkably similar to adult shoplifting. However, the primary issues related to shoplifting among youth revolve around family, school and peer pressures.

If you were to ask juveniles caught shoplifting, "Why did you do it"? The most frequent reply would be "I don't know". Like adults, the reasons teens shoplift vary, but most commonly it is because they wanted nice things, felt pressured by friends, wanted to see if they could get away with it, or were angry, depressed, confused or bored. Sometimes they are just mad at the world and want to strike back.

While teens, like adults, usually know the difference between right and wrong, when their life becomes too stressful they become more vulnerable to temptation, peer pressure and other things that can lead them to shoplift. This is especially true when they feel unworthy, angry, depressed, unattractive or not accepted.


In summary, shoplifting for millions of our citizens, is simply another maladaptive way of coping with stressful life circumstances...similar to overeating, drinking, drugs or gambling. It is not an issue of good vs. bad people, rich vs. poor, young vs. old or education vs. illiteracy. At any time, or even many times in a person's life, the temptation to "get something for nothing" and the desire to reward oneself can easily be present. By raising public awareness about the problem and delivering needed programs and services to people who shoplift, communities who engage in prevention efforts will reduce the number of people who become involved and improve the quality of life for all.

www.shopliftingprevention.com