The Devil Made Me Do It

After thinking for several months that it would make a difference, after my medical records were subpoenaed, after crying about the medication causing me all these problems...

I was told today that I should take the plea.

Because if I got up on the stand and said that I was stealing stuff under the influence of this medication, and that I was doing it all the time that I was risking more than 3 years of probation. I was risking jail time.

Because my reaction to the medication was severe and out of the ordinary, even if my doctor and counselor were willing testify for me that it was medication related, it didn't matter.

To a jury...

My tears were crocodile tears.

My defense began to sound like, "The devil made me do it."

It doesn't matter that these impulses are gone after getting off the medication. Never mind that my hair is still in the process of growing back. No matter that my face is scarred from acne. Never mind all of that. Never mind the truth.

Thanks to the Twinkie defense, it sounds like "The devil made me do it."

My attorney said, "I don't care what the truth is. I care about protecting you."

When I entered my plea, the judge seemed to feel sorry for me from the expression on his face. Maybe he knew that pleas aren't always the truth. I was so disoriented I couldn't find my car in the parking lot. I lost my favorite pair of sunglasses somewhere. I have to pay fines and restitution. I now have a record with two misdemeanors. I have to do community service.

People have lied to me. My first lawyers said "Trespassing isn't priorable." When I first went in to talk to someone at the DA's office. I was told, "You have a good case for trial." Another attorney decided to subpoena all of my medical documents because he said he believed me. Today I was told by my final attorney, "He just didn't have the backbone to tell you. He knew he was being transferred and so he left it to me to tell you the truth."

The "Irresistible Impulse" defense didn't work. "Entrapment" didn't work either. The drug defense didn't work because she had friends who said they had friends who were on that same drug and they didn't do those things.

So all that was left was, "The devil made me do it." No one believes in the devil anymore. And no one believes he can do anything.

Shit.
I took the plea.