Oh, the stories people tell!!!

Every once in awhile I find myself taking to a sympathetic stranger who marvels at my arrest and is very comforting about it.

I talked to a lady working at a gas station who said she got involved with a guy who was a meth addict and she started doing the stuff too. She ended up with no money trying to put her life back together after leaving te guy and stole to be able to eat. She said she walked out of a grocery store with a full cart of groceries. After that she shoplifted all the time but she never got caught. I used to be arrogant like that.

People do this all the time. Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills went after Winona Ryder with a vengeance because they lose money in the millions--money that could be going to the pensions of bitchy employees. I know they are bitchy, I've shopped there. They should be nicer to their customers and maybe they wouldn't shoplift. Just kidding. But I did complain to a manager there because they were so bitchy when I was making a return of an expensive cosmetics line that made me break out (or at least that's what I thought, but then it didn't go away.) There is just no excuse for being bitchy. I don't care how bad your day was, it can't be that bad if you work at Saks.

I Went Shopping!

I went shopping today. For the first time in a long time all I did was shop. And when I mean shop, I mean I paid for everything that went in my bag. No looking over my shoulder. No wondering if I'm going to get caught. No sneaking around. No wondering if my bag is looking over stuffed. No pretending to try things on in the dressing room.

It was a relief.

This is a hard lesson for me... It's been so long since I did normal shopping. It makes me wonder why I ever took anything because in comparison, I feel so much better when I am actually purchasing items. I can think about the person I am shopping for. I can think about how much they will like the gift.

What a relief.

I can think about how much money is going into the mess I created for myself.
The value of the items I took. And that everything I am going to pay in lawyers fees and payments to the company I stole from could have just gone into paying for items that I really wanted and that fit me well.

Don't be stupid.
Don't shoplift!!

Now I have to worry about whether or not I'm going to be on probation, or have the case dismissed or end up in court they didn't catch me on days when I had $1000 worth of merchandise in my bag. That would then be Felony Grand Theft.

Maybe for everyone else, this is a no-brainer. I should have thought about this before. I used to be like that, but everything changed when I got sick 2 years ago. More on that later. How do I explain that I didn't feel anything? How do I explain that I felt like it didn't really matter? I don't know.

So I'm going to say it again:

Don't be stupid.
Don't shoplift!!

Mail Call!!!

Apparently, anytme you are arrested, they send advertisements to you to get your case. I found out by accident. The postman came, someone got the mail and I asked if I could pull my ail out of the pile. Good thing I did or there would have been too many questions. I had to intercept the mail again today to make sure that no one in my family finds out. I was in shock. Not only was I humiliated by being arrested, no one wants to keep my secret. I need to keep it secret. I don't want to lose any more friends.

Of couse, if anyone really looked around and found this blog, they also would most likely feel the same way

Regrets, Social Consequences

I made the mistake of telling someone that I got arrested If I had just left that part out, things might have gone differently.

I used to date this guy. He hurt my feelings by just not talking to me after we shared some level of intimacy. Not everything mind you. But enough that it meant alot to me. It really hurt me. And even before that, I thought he didn't want to see me anymore because I didn't want to go home with him. He said it was because I was too religious; Haha.

I told him that if you like someone and you are attracted to them, it's worth a shot. But then I told him I didn't sleep well because I was in the tank. The thing is, I didn't think he would be so judgmental. I was crying and felt really awful and now he wants nothing to do with me.

His exact words via email:

I am extremely concerned about you, but at this juncture, my having any long conversations with you, in person, on the phone, or by e-mail, will do neither of us any good.

You are engaging in a number of self-destructive behavors at the moment. Even if I was of a mind to want to be in a romantic relationship with you, given what you are doing to yourself, I would be extremely foolish to want to be in such a relationship.

Please do not call, write, stop/drive by my home. If I see you in public (e.g. at an event), I promise to acknowledge you and talk to you, again BRIEFLY. However, if you do not IMMEDIATELY seek professional help for your problems, that will change. If you do get help, and I do see that you are getting better and you are making better judgments in your life, I will be overjoyed and we can resume our previous status.

I know that I am sounding harsh. I am doing so, because you do have many fine qualities, but you are obviously a very troubled and sad individual at the moment, and I seriously believe that your best interests would be served by you focusing on getting yourself well. While it may appear that I am being cruel to you, but I am not. I am trying to be your friend, and I do not wish to watch you destroy yourself anymore than you have managed to do since I have met you.

My words back:
I wish I hadn't told you. The look on your face hurt me all over again. I was in a fragile state already last time and I really couldn't handle how you treated me because it made me really hurt. I was so confused after that. No one ever told me they adored me. If someone who says they adore me could reject me so harshly, then what did anything mean? It made me think that no one really cared what I did--and especially after what happened with my head injury with the way people who said they were Christian treated me.

We didn't really have a status anymore, but we did have fun together sometimes--as long as it didn't get romantic. I didn't know if I wanted to be close with you again only to get hurt all over again. In many ways, you haven't been much of a friend because the ways you have hurt me made some things worse. Maybe now you just realize how much.

And by the way, I wasn't purposely driving by your house. I was driving home and crossed your street. It reminded me to call you when I thought we could still be friends.

In any case. I don't want to get hurt anymore. Please keep this in confidence because I need the few friends I have and I would like to keep this secret. That's all I ask. You don't have to talk to me because I'm not really sure I want to talk to someone who constantly rejects me.

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. My mistake is $50 worth of stuff and getting caught. I try not to judge people for the stupid things they do. I'd be a sicker puppy than I already am if I allowed myself to think that I should behave so that he will like me. Yeah right!!

Petty Thief Arrested!!

I'm a dumbass. I was so good at this up until recently. As we learned from Winona, don't shoplift under the influence. As you may learn from me, don't shoplift when you are angry at the world, confused, depressed and frustrated. You won't think clearly and you will get caught. The suspicious behavior that the rent-a-cops heard about was that I was trying to make a "suspicious" return. I tried to return an item in the wrong department. The associate told me the right department and I went upstairs instead of downstairs. I made the error of not concealing that I took something in that department. The merchandise I returned was actually legit. All they had to do was look at the fucking tag. Retards. OK, really, I'm the one who is retarded. They did watch me buy some expensive shoes that were on sale. I thought about snagging them, but it was a good thing I didn't. I then took a lipstick when I thought no one was watching me.

I walked out of the store and two security guards in plain clothes stopped me. Don't be an idiot and resist them. They will lie to you to get you to cooperate. They told me they would let me go. Then they told me that if the police were in a good mood that I might be released with a ticket and if they were in a bad mood that I would go to the station. Cooperate or it will not go well for you. I gave them the items I took. When I was asked if I had taken anything else, I shook my head no. They asked again and I again said no. I had to listen to the rent-a-cops swear and talk about how the other people they had detained were stupid and they thought it was funny that one woman had soiled herself when she was stopped.

The police were nicer than what you see on TV, but it was still unpleasant. There were a bunch of guys sitting on a bench handcuffed. They asked me if I had any reason to fear for my life and I said yes. They asked why and I said that those guys looked scary. Because of this they put me in isolation. I was the only female there.

I was transported to the police station. They told me I wasn't under arrest. I got a pat down, an escort to the bathroom and the whole works. I wonder if they are really doing their job when there is graffiti etched in the glass and paint of the cell I was in. But then after sitting in the tank for two hours, they finally read me my rights. They asked me to cooperate with them and tell my side of the story. They booked me, took mug shots and fingerprints and let me go without posting bail.

I had to call a cab, but at least I was on my way home. I certainly wasn't going to call anyone and say, "Hi, I'm calling you from JAIL! Can you pick me up?" The cab driver took one look at me and said, "What are YOU doing here at this hour?" What am I doing here? That's a great question.

Does Anyone Read This Blog?

Maybe you've stopped by and are afraid to post a comment? You can always post anonymously.

You know you want to say something...

Security Tag Stuck

Lo and behold! I took a shirt from the store to see if I could take the tag off. I also snagged two shirts that didn't have security tags. Plus, an item that I bought was actually on sale and I saved $100. See, I actually DO buy things sometimes. Of course that's mixed in with swapping tags on two of the items returned, but you get my point. I even left an item there that I had stolen because it didn't fit. Something that I don't usually do, but I had second thoughts about the item.

As I was leaving the store it...didn't even go off. I was kinda disappointed in that. I have a theory that half of them don't even work, but its very presence stops most people.

So far I have tried:
1. A bent hanger.
2. A bent skewer.
3. 2 pliers
4. The magnets on my purse. (Yep, stole that purse, too.)

So far no luck.

Best Security Tag Removal Techniques

Wow! I never thought that anyone would be so brazen as to put some of this stuff on YouTube!! I already have issues with posting an anonymous blog. I worry that my other readers will find this blog and chastise me--or worse the cops. My field requires a background check and I have always passed. I'm torn--in fact I have cut or torn fabric to get the sensor off. It doesn't leave much of a scar if you are careful. But carrying a tool, that's BRILLIANT!! So tempting to discover a tool and then continue. But i truly am starting to feel bad about it all.

In any case, what are the chances that these people ACTUALLY aren't shoplifters?

Two Pliers:


A bent "thingie"



Bent Screwdriver:

Shoplifting 101--teaching kids to lift

1. Know where your cameras are.

2. If you've been CAUGHT shoplifting before, clearly you aren't doing it right and you shouldn't be teaching ANYONE how to do something if you aren't doing it right.

3. If you are going to live a life of crime, don't get caught. The consequences are far too dire.

How To Shoplift

Funny Video that summarizes how I have been feeling lately. God is watching.